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Filed under: Sleep

balancing...

Is there such thing as balance when you have an infant at home? To say that we have had sleepless nights is probably an understatement. And to say its been tough balancing work, wanting to spend time with Adelina and time as a couple is probably a major understatement as well. I suppose a part of me thought "balancing" would be easy... ha!

The first few weeks at work were tough for many reasons but I figured once we got through the "transition" it would become second nature and we all would fall right into a routine of wakeups, work, home and sleep. I laugh now because as someone said to me just a few days ago... just when you think you have your kids figured out something else changes. It's SO TRUE!

Now, two months back into work its still a struggle on a daily basis. The mornings are always interesting because Adelina still isn't into a morning wake up routine, it seems to be either a super early wake up (like 4 or 5am) OR we have to wake her up to get her going... it would be nice if there was some sort of middle ground but oh well. I have to admit that while mornings are always interesting with trying to figure out how we are all going to get ready and get out of the house, its also one of our favorite times of day. The minute Adelina starts to wake up both Brent and I rush to get into her room first *yes we race*. She will look left and right until she focuses in on us and then we get the most beautiful smile from her, she gets so excited to see us in the morning... it literally brings tears to my eyes writing about it. Typically its one of her happiest times of the day and that means more smiles, a few giggles and these days more and more sounds!

The day times (during the work week) typically fly by and yet half the time I feel like I never get enough accomplished and there aren't enough hours in the work day. Whether thats because I suck at time management these days, I am day dreaming or maybe I am just that busy I am not sure. Regardless after we get Adelina down for the day I have been logging on to get more work done on a relatively regular basis. Which means, of course, that I get less and less time with my hubby. Luckily I think he understands but it puts me in a situation where I really need to work on my time management skills because I swear I never brought work home as much as I do now. In addition the last thing I want is for my team to think I am not putting in the same effort as before because when push comes to shove I want to continue to grow my career and move forward within the company. I suppose I need to realize that I can't do everything but I truly do feel like there is some improvement that can happen on my part during the work day. So, thats my big to do for the next few weeks... focus, work hard, and then come home without work so I can enjoy my family. I'll let you all know how that goes!

The "on-the-go" parent

In and earlier post I mentioned some of the thoughts I had around my hope "pre-baby" about being what I will refer to as an "on-the-go" parent. Before A arrived I had always noticed and envied the moms and dads that were out and about with their little ones, on walks, hiking, at the grocery store, etc, its hard to not be active here in Colorado. But once my daughter arrived my thoughts changed immensely. Both hubs and I had done some reading on sleep training and healthy sleeping babies(he read Baby Wise, I read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby) and I think this changed many of our opinions (and maybe freaked us out a bit too). We both desperately wanted to have a baby that slept well, not necessarily one that slept through the night, simply one that could fall asleep on her own and could stay asleep. As with many people you hear the horror stories of kids that won't fall asleep at night without sound machines, an hour of rocking or an hour of screaming, I just didnt want to subject A to that. And lets be honest, I like sleep and if I could do something to get myself more (within reason) you bet I was going to do it.

From birth until about 6 weeks I really kept to myself and kept Adelina at home. We had our occasional outing but for the most part we were homebodies. We slept, read stories, rocked and hung out on the front porch... it was fantastic! Now, I will say that this was partially due to the fact that I still wasnt able to be as active as I wanted after the birth and it was still relatively chilly in Denver. I didn't like the idea of taking her out in the cold unless it was necessary. Once 5/6 weeks hit I noticed that Adelina was starting to stay away longer but also having trouble napping. I knew that this was a big development milestone (longer periods of wakefulness) but it was also worrisome that she simply wouldnt nap. After having a couple weeks of visitors and finally some great weather in Denver we started to work on our sleeping all over again. It was at this point that I truly became a slave to A's sleep schedule and the mom-zilla in me really came out. You could say, truthfully, that I was overbearing and over the top about it. But when push came to shove if it meant A (and I) could get a good nap in, it meant we were staying home. I know I had friends wondering what the heck I was doing and why I was being so anal about naps and sleeping but we started to see an improvement in day time sleep and thus nighttime sleep and before I knew it Adelina was sleeping 6 hours a night, what heaven that was! Now that I am back at work the nighttime sleep has changed again but thats another blog post in itself.

While I was relishing in all of the new things Adelina was doing (giggling, smiling, sitting up in her bumpo), a part of me still wondered if my friends and the people I used to spend so much time with understood. Many of my friends don't have children and while sympathetic I wondered if they really understood or if they just thought I was over the top. I know I shouldn't necessarily care but I wanted those that I was close to, to get it and understand what I was going through. As it turns out just the other day, I was chatting with one of my girlfriends and while I dont remember the exact question I know I essentially asked if she thought I was being over the top. She said you know I am one of those non-mom's that thinks wow it has to be hard to be a mom and if something works for you then go with it because thats what you have to do to make everything work for YOU. It truly gave me a little peace to know that someone understood.

 Now at almost 19 weeks of age we are starting to get out more, a walk here, a BBQ there, an overnight trip and our first flight within the next month. Before you know it we might even take that hike I am itching to do!