Becoming Mom-zilla http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com trials of a self-declared overbearing first time mom... posterous.com Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:53:43 -0700 Strike three and you're out http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/strike-three-and-youre-out http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/strike-three-and-youre-out

As Adelina approaches six months old we have officially decided to switch her to a different day care. We have had numerous experiences at our current center and truthfully most of them have been negative. I know now it shouldn't have taken us this long to come to the conclusion but it's a hard decision to disrupt your child again when the initial change was so challenging.

Strike one really came within the first week. We (or should I say, I) started off almost immediately on the wrong foot with the day care I will refer to as "the center." Leaving Adelina wasn't so bad that first day and week because they truly looked like they cared and wanted to love on her, but within a few days I was already irritated with them. "The center" staff asked for all of the typical items... enough milk for what she typically took during the time she was at day care, a feel for her typical day (naps, etc), diapers, wipes, and anything else that would make her comfortable. Within the first two days they were already asking for more milk... for those of you aren't moms yet and those who didn't breastfeed, breastfed babies should only take in a certain amount of milk a day and at the time I thought I had it figured out as to how much she would need based on 3-4 feedings and what I produced during the day. I had done a lot of reading about what to expect out of day cares in general and what things to keep an eye out for. One of the big ones was overfeeding, if babies are over full they will sleep more and thus need less attention. This is what I saw happening within a few days... or at least what I felt was happening. Now I probably wouldn't have had as much of a problem with the "overfeeding" if they just would have asked instead of immediately feeding Adelina anything and everything we had brought but they didn't ask they just told me. I had a tense conversation on day two about what I expected, and we went back and forth before coming to a middle ground on the amount she was to be drinking. To this day I don't think they agree with me and they make references to it on a regular basis to hubs and not me. (yes, I find this irritating too)

Strike two came about 6-8 weeks into being there. Both hubs and I leave at 4 o'clock on alternating days to pick up Adelina by 4:30 at the latest. I had left work on one such day and arrived at the day care. Being a smaller center, it is one that you have to knock on the door in order to be allowed in (provided the door is locked, otherwise you can just walk in). Well I knocked on the door and could hear Adelina crying on the other side of the door. I sat outside the day care for what felt like ten minutes (frantically knocking, looking in windows, knowing more, etc) before someone came and opened the door and let me in. It was probably the most excruciating ten minutes of my life, knowing that she was crying on the other side, not seeing anyone in the room, and not being able to get to her. Supposedly she was just "fussing" but I know a cry when I hear one and I was NOT happy. I practically left that day in tears myself being so irritated and upset about it. I wasn't really comfortable with the daycare from that day on. I knew in my heart something had to change before I would feel good about leaving Adelina, but at the same time wasnt really sure what we could do or find knowing full and well that most places we had looked at had a six month to one year wait.

Another big negative for both hubs and I was the security issue. For some reason it wasn't something we had spent a lot of time thinking about prior to having Adelina but after having her and taking her to this center we realized what an issue it really was. The center is two houses that were combined in a neighborhood. So in order to get into the infant room you enter through what would be the front door. The door is supposed to be locked on a regular basis and you have to sign in when you walk into the room. The issue is that on many occasions the door wasn't locked and literally anyone could walk in off the street and grab a baby. It was a major worry for us on a regular basis and in my opinion not something we should really have to think about.

For me, strike three came after hubs went to pick up Adelina one day and the infant room supervisor's husband was there holding Adelina. Now I fully realize that he probably just stopped by to say hello and was probably just helping out BUT I was not in any way shape or form comfortable with some random man that I had never met and wasn't (in my opinion) qualified to be holding my child. I was again upset and so irritated. It would have maybe been different if we had met him before and had the chance to get comfortable with him but this is a day care center not an in home day care, they are two completely different things. I came home that night knowing that we really had to figure something else out. 

For hubs, I think strike three came after a friend had a bad experience at the center. We had referred her and her son thinking it would be nice for Adelina to have a friend and neighbor at the same center. While she was there dropping off her first check, a little girl literally fell out of a high chair and took a major spill on the floor. When I say took a spill I mean she essentially went head first onto the floor because she wasnt strapped in and no one was watching her. Talk about mortified... The gal we referred ran out of the center with her son in tow, never to be seen again. I not only felt awful for referring her but if it wasn't crystal clear before, it was now, we had to find something different as soon as possible.

 It took longer than either of us had hoped but we finally found our new center (we had put ourselves on the wait list when we had done our initial search early in the year) and are so excited about the change. Security is a world of difference, cleanliness is amazing and the center employees seem awesome. They truly seem interested in the development of the children and spending time with them versus putting them in a swing or bouncer to keep them entertained.

It's still a couple weeks away before we can start but it's a light at the end of the tunnel and couldn't come at a more perfect time for Adelina's development since she will be sitting up and be able to interact more with the other babies and day care personnel. We look forward to the change and hopefully feeling like the weight will lift just a little off our shoulders and our hearts.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1404078/Adelina13.jpg http://posterous.com/users/heO3Bdr0GCmNA Trina Wardell trin9980 Trina Wardell