Becoming Mom-zilla http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com trials of a self-declared overbearing first time mom... posterous.com Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:53:43 -0700 Strike three and you're out http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/strike-three-and-youre-out http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/strike-three-and-youre-out

As Adelina approaches six months old we have officially decided to switch her to a different day care. We have had numerous experiences at our current center and truthfully most of them have been negative. I know now it shouldn't have taken us this long to come to the conclusion but it's a hard decision to disrupt your child again when the initial change was so challenging.

Strike one really came within the first week. We (or should I say, I) started off almost immediately on the wrong foot with the day care I will refer to as "the center." Leaving Adelina wasn't so bad that first day and week because they truly looked like they cared and wanted to love on her, but within a few days I was already irritated with them. "The center" staff asked for all of the typical items... enough milk for what she typically took during the time she was at day care, a feel for her typical day (naps, etc), diapers, wipes, and anything else that would make her comfortable. Within the first two days they were already asking for more milk... for those of you aren't moms yet and those who didn't breastfeed, breastfed babies should only take in a certain amount of milk a day and at the time I thought I had it figured out as to how much she would need based on 3-4 feedings and what I produced during the day. I had done a lot of reading about what to expect out of day cares in general and what things to keep an eye out for. One of the big ones was overfeeding, if babies are over full they will sleep more and thus need less attention. This is what I saw happening within a few days... or at least what I felt was happening. Now I probably wouldn't have had as much of a problem with the "overfeeding" if they just would have asked instead of immediately feeding Adelina anything and everything we had brought but they didn't ask they just told me. I had a tense conversation on day two about what I expected, and we went back and forth before coming to a middle ground on the amount she was to be drinking. To this day I don't think they agree with me and they make references to it on a regular basis to hubs and not me. (yes, I find this irritating too)

Strike two came about 6-8 weeks into being there. Both hubs and I leave at 4 o'clock on alternating days to pick up Adelina by 4:30 at the latest. I had left work on one such day and arrived at the day care. Being a smaller center, it is one that you have to knock on the door in order to be allowed in (provided the door is locked, otherwise you can just walk in). Well I knocked on the door and could hear Adelina crying on the other side of the door. I sat outside the day care for what felt like ten minutes (frantically knocking, looking in windows, knowing more, etc) before someone came and opened the door and let me in. It was probably the most excruciating ten minutes of my life, knowing that she was crying on the other side, not seeing anyone in the room, and not being able to get to her. Supposedly she was just "fussing" but I know a cry when I hear one and I was NOT happy. I practically left that day in tears myself being so irritated and upset about it. I wasn't really comfortable with the daycare from that day on. I knew in my heart something had to change before I would feel good about leaving Adelina, but at the same time wasnt really sure what we could do or find knowing full and well that most places we had looked at had a six month to one year wait.

Another big negative for both hubs and I was the security issue. For some reason it wasn't something we had spent a lot of time thinking about prior to having Adelina but after having her and taking her to this center we realized what an issue it really was. The center is two houses that were combined in a neighborhood. So in order to get into the infant room you enter through what would be the front door. The door is supposed to be locked on a regular basis and you have to sign in when you walk into the room. The issue is that on many occasions the door wasn't locked and literally anyone could walk in off the street and grab a baby. It was a major worry for us on a regular basis and in my opinion not something we should really have to think about.

For me, strike three came after hubs went to pick up Adelina one day and the infant room supervisor's husband was there holding Adelina. Now I fully realize that he probably just stopped by to say hello and was probably just helping out BUT I was not in any way shape or form comfortable with some random man that I had never met and wasn't (in my opinion) qualified to be holding my child. I was again upset and so irritated. It would have maybe been different if we had met him before and had the chance to get comfortable with him but this is a day care center not an in home day care, they are two completely different things. I came home that night knowing that we really had to figure something else out. 

For hubs, I think strike three came after a friend had a bad experience at the center. We had referred her and her son thinking it would be nice for Adelina to have a friend and neighbor at the same center. While she was there dropping off her first check, a little girl literally fell out of a high chair and took a major spill on the floor. When I say took a spill I mean she essentially went head first onto the floor because she wasnt strapped in and no one was watching her. Talk about mortified... The gal we referred ran out of the center with her son in tow, never to be seen again. I not only felt awful for referring her but if it wasn't crystal clear before, it was now, we had to find something different as soon as possible.

 It took longer than either of us had hoped but we finally found our new center (we had put ourselves on the wait list when we had done our initial search early in the year) and are so excited about the change. Security is a world of difference, cleanliness is amazing and the center employees seem awesome. They truly seem interested in the development of the children and spending time with them versus putting them in a swing or bouncer to keep them entertained.

It's still a couple weeks away before we can start but it's a light at the end of the tunnel and couldn't come at a more perfect time for Adelina's development since she will be sitting up and be able to interact more with the other babies and day care personnel. We look forward to the change and hopefully feeling like the weight will lift just a little off our shoulders and our hearts.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1404078/Adelina13.jpg http://posterous.com/users/heO3Bdr0GCmNA Trina Wardell trin9980 Trina Wardell
Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:00:00 -0700 The First of Many Tough Days http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/the-first-of-many-tough-days http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/the-first-of-many-tough-days

Long before A was born I knew the 12 weeks I had off after her birth would fly by and I would eventually have to leave her in the hands of someone else when I headed back to work. Alas, I could not have imagined how difficult it truly was. Our first 12 weeks together while sometimes sleepless, were unforgettable and quite possibly some of the most fabulous days of my life. I took the time to focus on just her, our relationship and what I could (and couldn't) do for her. Occasionally it was hard for me, and I did have those days when I felt a bit stir crazy but really, I loved it. I relished our morning play time, our afternoon naps together, the occasional mid-morning walk we took and the hundreds upon hundreds of pictures I took. As the days started to tick by and my first day back at work loomed, I started to get nervous. I had no idea how I would deal with being without her or how I would manage to focus at work while knowing she was in the hands of someone else. I remember other new moms talking about how hard the first day back was... I hadn't really understood until the day was on the horizon in my future.

Almost 2 weeks before I was scheduled to head back, hubs called our new day care and they wanted us to come in for a "test day." For whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to do it and told him and them that I didn't have them time and it wasn't going to work for us. I think my exact excuse was that we had to nap, ha! It was important! But knowing that someone else would be tending to her soon, I wrote probably the most irriating two page "note" about how Adelina slept, ate, played, etc. Needless to say even now after 7 weeks at day care I am pretty sure they still havent read my "note."

As the hours continued to fly by, I grew more and more nervous and yes I started to cry at random increments. I remember sitting outside on the front porch swing one evening waiting for hubs to get home from work... he got home and sat with us and all of a sudden turned to me and I was crying. He of course wondered what had happened. Needless to say that was not the last crying incident.

The morning of my first day was brutal to say the least. Not only did our little one not sleep (I am sure she could sense something was going on) but she was up almost 2 hours earlier than normal and hubs and I were way off in general. I had to call my boss and let her know that we were having a rough morning and I would be in late. After our rough start we all headed to the day care for our first drop off. Both hubs and I went, I think we were equally nervous about leaving her with someone else regardless of how much we liked the center. The gals that now take care of little miss were fabulous, they took her in their arms and immediately gave her hugs and love. While that helped, it also broke my heart a little... and as you can imagine the tears started flowing. A few moments passed, we gave direction regarding feeding and then I had to almost run out before I broke into a full out sob. I pretty much cried the whole way to work. I asked myself then, and still do on a regular basis, if its worth it...

The days have continued to fly by since I've been back at work and it has definitely been slightly easier to be away from A but I admittedly continue to struggle with leaving her. I am sure most moms do... I suppose we wouldn't be moms if we didn't struggle with it right?

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1404078/Adelina13.jpg http://posterous.com/users/heO3Bdr0GCmNA Trina Wardell trin9980 Trina Wardell
Fri, 19 Aug 2011 12:31:00 -0700 To pacify or not pacify http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/63782883 http://becomingmomzilla.posterous.com/63782883

Yesterday my little peanut turned 4 months old. As I was taking copious amounts of pictures of her yesterday morning I asked myself where the heck the last 4 months went, it was as if we just brought her home from the hospital the other day! When hubs and I found out we were pregnant we did all we could to read and educate ourselves on babies, sleeping babies, crying babies, being parents, etc. We (or at least I) had this vision of the type of parents we would be. I imagined that we would be an “organic” household, be a pacifier free family, and be the family that is always on the go. And then reality set in and we brought our little bundle of joy home. While my hubs will tell you that I’ve always been a bit overbearing and anal about some things, I don't think I've ever been too over the top. Well that changed dramatically the moment little A was born. Most of the things I thought we would do went right out the window and I began to obsess over what to do, what was right, wrong and up and down.

First and foremost was the “pacifier free” zone. I had had this vision that our baby wouldn’t cry (yes, I imagined that we would have the perfect child, dont all parents say that?) and even if she did we wouldn’t need to use a pacifier. Hubs and I talked it over and he agreed. So needless to say once little A was born, I was rather irritated with how easily the nursing staff was to stick a pacifier in her mouth. I swear every time I turned around I found another one stuffed right in there. It hit an escalating point when on the third day, right before we were scheduled to be discharged, and we were having pictures taken of A. The photographer wanted to take some uber-sweet shots of our little one but we had to strategically swoop in and take the pacifier out, snap a few pictures and rush it back into her mouth before she started crying. I was rather irritated to say the least. I swore that we were going to “fix” this immediately.

Off we went as a new little family with the determination to let go of our pacifier fetish. The same day my in-laws arrived in Colorado (they drove all the way from the mid-west to meet their newest granddaughter!). And hence comes my first mom-zilla moment. I don’t know what day it was or what had happened but I remember vividly that A had started to fuss just a little and grandma was closest to her, grabbed the pacifier and immediately put it in A’s mouth. No, I don’t know why a pacifier was right next to her but it was. I must have turned and given my hubs the look of death because he immediately said to his mom that we were trying to not rely on the pacifier and took it out of A’s mouth. I’m hoping I was discreet enough to not glower at my husband and make it obvious to my mother-in-law but let’s be honest at that point I was light on sleep and I probably could have cared less who saw. To my mother-in-law whom I know will read this blog eventually… Sorry! I know I was and still am one of those crazy first time moms! After about a week of trying to not use the pacifier we gave up on that and said hey if we feel like we need to use it lets use it but let’s not obsess over it (I know what you are thinking… Me? Obsess? NEVER!). To this day we still use it at nap time and bed time and occasionally during a car ride. But we are lucky that our little one is truly a great baby and while she has her moments, the tough ones are few and far between and WHO CARES if we have to use the pacifier every so often right?

 

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/1404078/Adelina13.jpg http://posterous.com/users/heO3Bdr0GCmNA Trina Wardell trin9980 Trina Wardell